When my daughter started kindergarten, I admit I heaved a sigh of relief.  I had worked very hard for the first four years of her life.  I had done a good job.  Now my daytime focus could go to my work and my business.  I could see her sense of calm and confidence about herself.  She was a good kid who was very clever, and kind, and well respected amongst the other kids in her class.  The teachers said she was an ideal student.
 
Kim (name has been changed) started to ask me if I would home school her in senior kindergarten.  She said she was bored and couldn't stand going through what she had to at school, and could she please go back to learning from me.  I taught her ways to make the boring work more interesting and expected her to cope.  The kindergarten teacher (who Kim loved very much) let Kim do independent projects that Kim then presented to the class.  The teacher asked the principal if Kim could go ahead a grade because she was so bright, but the principal said that the Board policy did not allow for this.
 
Kim went on to grade 1 where, again, her teacher commended her intelligence and behaviour.  Kim was increasingly unhappy, but she tolerated the noise in the classroom and the recess bullies the best she could.  Again she asked me to take her back home to learn, but, again, I tried to give her coping techniques to get through.  Kim could never understand why people weren't kinder to one another.  The wild and physically aggressive behaviour of many of the other kids didn't make sense to her, and she spent many agonizing hours trying to make it fit and work.  She was in a grade 1/2 split and was doing grade 2 work that year.
 
This year, the school didn't have a grade 2/3 split, so they put her into a grade 2 class.  They assured me that everything would be fine - she could do grade 3 work in a grade 2 class.  In November, 2000, Kim called home sick 3 days in a row and each time I went to pick her up, she looked white and sallow - but each time, as we got closer to home, her color returned and she felt better.  I started really listening to her and she told me that she has always suffered from stomach pains at school, but that she has always managed to get through it.  I talked to the school and we tried giving her time each day to do her own independent project in the library (which she then presented to the class), but they squashed the project saying that there wasn't time in the day to cover the curriculum and do independent initiatives.  It was time for me to let go of my expectations for her fitting into the neat package of public education, and allow for the possibility that her needs could only be met elsewhere.
 
It was somewhat frightening to take that first step (which we took together in February of 2001).  I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep up with the demands of my business and teach her.  I am her only parent, and our only provider.  To my surprise, I have had more energy since we began the new lifestyle, and our day is more fluid since  I no longer have to go to school 4 times a day to pick up and drop off Kim.
 
I have reviewed the curriculum with Kim and have found that she is functioning in the 18 strands anywhere between grade 3 and grade 6.  I have organized our plan around who she is, who we are, and what each day offers us.  I'm glad I found the courage to consider other possibilities for my daughter's education.  Kim is happier and more free spirited since the initiative.
 
Socially (isn't that the big question), Kim is able to listen to peers more than she was able to before because the noise has been turned off.  She used to always be trying to shut out the noise, so she would miss some incoming signals from kids who could be good friends.  Now, with the noise gone, she is open and listening, and looking forward to recieving signals from others.  I compare the socialization element to the radio ... we all want our kids to enjoy music, but for many kids in the public school system, the radio is turned up to 9, and they've got their hands over their ears.  If you turn the radio down to 3, they first feel a huge relief, then they begin to listen to what the radio is playing and hear things they actually enjoy.  Some people love the energy of a radio turned to 9, other people cannot tolerate it.  Likewise with the kids, some enjoy the energy of 26 kids in one room, others shut out and shut down.
 
Now, in the midst of all this process that Kim and have been going through, the school has been reminding me that the letter of notice I sent was not enough, and that I must sign the form that says I'm home-schooling because ... ...
I must be held accountable to the Board for what I'm doing at home.  I haven't signed that form.  I've taken some time to try to understand my strong offence at the suggestion that I must allow someone from the Board to come into my home and write a report about Kim and me.  I have little doubt that should anyone come into our home and see what Kim gets each day, they would find she is a very lucky girl who is gaining exceptional tools - academic and life skill.  But still I have a problem with it.  I've decided that my objection lies within the approach style.  I would have no objection to discussion about what goes on in our home if the Board of Education would enter into a discussion with me about why their system failed to meet my daughter's needs and what I'm doing that they could not.  With an air of respect and a willingness to learn, rather than an air of authority and a willingness to oppress, I think everyone could benefit by continuing dialogue around the education of my daughter.  I will move forward with the Board only under terms of respect; after all, whose foundation of respect might be more shaken by Kim's experience - the School Board's respect for me, or my respect for the School Board?
 
 Is it the goal of the public education system to satisfy the educational needs of every individual child?  The framework they laid out oppressed my daughter to the point of being physically ill.  Should they demand that I be accountable to them, or should they ask that I help them to understand how their framework fell short, and offer me their support.
 
The principal of Kim's school suggested that we all have to learn to cope with these conditions because it represents the real world ... I whole-heartedly disagree.  In the real world, we don't work in small rooms with 26 people, we don't stay where we are not happy, we don't accept working conditions that don't satisfy our needs, and we need to maintain a sense of power to build our life around people and conditions that show respect for who we are and what our needs are.  A friend said to me that perhaps the most powerful thing Kim has gained in the move to home schooling, was a sense that she doesn't have to accept any model for her life that doesn't feel good - that she should build a life around her own sense of healthy.  That's a pretty profound lesson for a seven year old, and I'm glad I helped to deliver it.  I'm not sure it's a lesson that the system can applaud, because it poses a threat to their sense of power to deliver their own agenda.  Perhaps that's why they want me to be accountable to them - so that they can recover their sense of authority on the education of all people.
 
But if their framework has proven itself oppressive to my family, then should I not be leary of letting their framework into my home to judge me as 'satisfactory' or 'not satisfactory'?
 
Continuing to build days filled with education ...